Criminals With Jobs
by Troublesome-Saru-chan
Summary: Akatsuki? Konoha? An Alliance? WTH! What happens when our favorite bad boys move to Konoha to live with the good guys? Food? Money? Housing? That's not Konoha's problem. Looks like the bad boys are gonna have to be disciplined.
1. Why are we going again?

Saru: Yet another story by Storm and I.

Storm: YEP!!

Saru and Storm: WE DON'T OWN NARUTO!!

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"Do we _really _have to do this, Leader-sama?"asked a very irate Uchiha Itachi. "Yes we do, Itachi. The fate of Akatsuki

rests on this alliance with Konoha. If we do not hold up our end of the deal, how can we expect them to hold up theirs?"

"Oh! Oh! Leader-sama, I have a question!"Tobi yelled as he madly waved his hand around. Pein covered his face with his

hand. He could feel a headache coming on. "Yes, Tobi, what is it?" "Why are we going to Konoha again?" All the Akatsuki

members looked at Tobi like he was idiot. Wait. He is an idiot. Pein stared at Tobi. Oh yeah, he definitely had a headache

now. "Well, you see Tobi, it all started when-

_Flashback no Jutsu_

"_So, you want an alliance with Konoha?" asked a incredulous Tsunade." Yes. I believe that is what I said." stated a very _

_annoyed Pein for the fiftieth time. It was obvious to everyone that she was drunk. "Why do you want an alliance again?" Pein _

_sighed. "We want an alliance because we believe that both Konoha and the Akatsuki will benefit from it. As you know, Orochimaru _

_is on the rise. We believe that he will soon attack Konoha. We want to use this to our advantage and kill him. Not to mention that _

_you could use the military power."I -hic- agree with –hic- you. You may move your base to Konoha."Tsunade said as she stood to _

_leave. "Thank you, Tsunade-san. "and with that the Akatsuki left to prepare for travel._

_Flashback! Kai!_

"Oh so thaaaaaaat's why we're going to Konoha." said Tobi with a look of thought on his face. Well, we think it was a

look of thought. You never can tell with that mask on." Yes Tobi, that is why weare going to Konoha" Pein said calmly,

though his head was throbbing. "I think I get it now." Everyone,except Itachi, leaned in. Had someone worked a miracle? Did

Tobi somehow acquire a brain? "But, I stilldon't understand why we have to go to Konoha." Everyone, except Itachi face

faulted. Now you may be asking why Tobi facefaulted. And you know what? I may be the authoress but even I don't know

why he did. "You have got to be fucking kidding me! He just told you that, dumbass!" cussed, err, stated Hidan.

"Oh look it's the Konoha Gates, he he." Deidara said nervously. Hidan was scary when he"blew up".

"Hmm, it seems

that Deidara is right. How to does it feel to be home Itachi?" asked Kisame. Itachi stared at him for a moment, face and

Sharingan eyes portraying nothing. Nobody expected him to answer. "It feels…odd." answered Itachi. "So Itachi-san can

talk! Who'd of thought?! Mean he doesn't answer Tobi's questions! It's a miracle." Tobi then began to…dance?! I'm not quite

sure what he's doing. Is that the lawn mower!? Crank Dat? Oh my Gosh, he's walking it out! My lazy eyes! "Tobi! What the

name of Jashin-sama are you doing!" screamed Hidan. Kisame pulled out Samehada and started waving it around rapidly.

Konan (yeah, she's there too.) used her paper to cover her eyes. Kakuzu used money to cover his eyes. Sasori pulled his

Sandaime Kazekage puppet out. (Wonder what he's going to do with that?) Uh, yea giant owl-bird things made out of clay.

(Hmm, I wonder.) Itachi silently pulled his straw hat down and walked ahead, bell jingling. (Hee Hee Jingling)


	2. Heathen is NOT a good word

Saru: -looks at people- I'm doin it today. Saru and Storm no own Naruto!

OH YEA!! If you DON'T hate Sakura. Your not goin to like what's goin to happen to her. YOU. HAVE. BEEN. NOTICED.

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About ten minutes later, the Akatsuki arrived at Hokage Tower. Instead of walking, they had roof-hopped to avoid civilians. They stood on a small balcony outside of Tsunade's office window. Pein knocked on the window. A couple minutes later, a sober Tsunade answered by opening it. She moved to the side to allow the Akatsuki into the room.

When every Akatsuki member was in the room, they looked around at the rest of it's occupants. There was Hatake Kakashi; sensei to Team 7, Jiraiya; the Gama- sannin, Tsunade's apprentice and assistant; Shizune, the Rookie Nine and Gai's team with there senseis, Mitarashi Anko and Morino Ibiki; the Chuunin examiners, and the council members. The Konoha Nin stared at them, so the Akatsuki glared at them. Soon after the glare/stare fest was over Tsunade started talking.

"We are all gathered here today to discuss the addition of the Akatsuki to the village of Konohagakure no Sato. Are there any questions so far?" Tsunade asked. The majority of the rooms occupants raised there hands. Tsunade called on Kakashi first. "Since they are staying here, does that mean they will work for Konoha?" The lazy ninja asked, his usual laidback posture rather tense. Tsunade answered his question with a smirk. "The Akatsuki will report to myself and the Daimyo. They will be ninja of this village." Tsunade then answered Shizune's question. "What rank will they be?" "They will start off as Jounin for there skills. They will rise in the ranks AFTER and only AFTER we trust them." After those two questions 99 of the people put there hands down this made Tsunade a VERY happy woman.

Next was Anko, "Are any of them single? Especially, the hot ones like that one (points to Itachi), that one (points to Hidan), that one (points to Sasori), or _that _one (points to Deidara)." Tsunade smacked herself one the forehead. She really should have expected such a dumbass question like that from Anko. Unfortunately, she HAD to answer it. With a sigh, she proceeded to answer Anko's question. "How the hell am I supposed to know Anko?" She looks toward the Akatsuki. "How about this? Raise your hand if your single." Kakuzu, Zetsu, Tobi (Holy Shit! He's being quiet! -mumbles – and it's NOT 

because I forgot him either.), Kisame, Itachi, Deidara, Sasori, and Hidan all raised there hands. Anko squealed. "YESSSS!! All the hot ones are FREE." (Needless to say, I feel _very_ sorry for _them_.)

Koharu, being the old bat she is, stood up and slammed her fist on Tsunade's desk. "We will not stand for this, Tsunade!" Tsunade stared at her with a bored expression. "And just why the hell not?" Koharu glared at her. "Who knows what these…these …_heathens_ will do to our peaceful village!" Every, and I mean EVERY Akatsuki members eyes widened. Deidara screamed. "OH NO, UN! SHE CALLED HIDAN A HEATHEN, UN!" Tobi ran around in circles screaming "HEEEEELP MEEEE!!" repeatedly. Konan hid behind Pein who hid in his shadow…thingy. Kisame tried to hid behind Samehada. Kakuzu built a chakra-enhanced fort out of money and crawled inside. Sasori took out Hiruko and hid inside. Itachi simply walked to the other side of the room. Eventually, Tsunade got tired of being left out. "What the hell is wrong with you guys?" To everybody's amazement, Itachi answered (in monotone, of course). "Hidan is an incredibly religious person." He said simply fixing them all with a blank stare.

Tsunade opened her mouth to ask another question when suddenly a huge amount of killer intent erupted in the room. Every shinobi (except Sakura who was to stupid to recognize that there was killer intent in the room, let alone in the village) was thrown against the walls from the sheer force of it. They somehow managed to turn there heads and look in Hidan's general direction. He had…er, transformed and was wielding his scythe. He growled. "Do_ not _fucking call me a _fucking _heathen. Jashin- sama shall have your blood, you gray-haired bitch." Everyone (except Sakura who does not possess the brain capacity to think or a brain for that matter) had one collective thought, 'Holy SHIT, We're SOOOO fucked."


End file.
